About my way to creativity

1 January 1970

I needed to stop following a plan that no longer felt true.

After school, I felt overwhelmed by options but still stuck in a limited mindset - like, yes, I could study anything, but it was still just studying. I loved my bachelor’s in Educational Science and I’m really grateful for it, and I was excited to start my master’s in social science in Berlin. But from the very beginning, something felt off about the master’s. I didn’t really want to be there, and it felt like I was forcing myself to follow a plan that no longer made me happy. My mindset changed, and I guess I became more focused on what I truly want, also because of photography. In the first moment, that realization was exhausting. It meant questioning a lot of what I thought defined me — but wasn’t true anymore. And I didn’t have a perfect plan B. It was more like: I needed to stop. As that feeling grew stronger, I got frustrated with myself because I wasn’t changing anything. Finally, I decided to quit university — and it felt amazing. Even almost one year later, I still feel the same. I allowed myself to follow my inner feeling, and photography and my growing love for cyanotypes led me there.

Through a deep fascination with photography and cyanotype that I didn’t even know I had, I finally found a creative outlet that inspires me again and again and makes me feel so much more like myself. Apart from my part-time job, I now spend most of my time doing things I love: creating, thinking, also doubting, but always checking in with myself about what I really want.